10 Reasons NOT to Date a Writer

After all the Elite Daily articles devouring my Facebook newsfeed about reasons why you should love a "Complicated Girl" and an "Open-Hearted Girl," I'm doing my own version.

With a twist.

Keep in mind, this post is just for fun. Don't ruin it and get offended.

1. You'll never measure up to fictional men. Much less the men we create.

2. We get very frustrated when we can't figure out what to write/plot next. Stay away.

3. If you are dumb enough to interrupt us while writing/plotting, be prepared for us to ignore you. Or yell at you. Or throw a book at you. RESPECT THE MUSE! She's very stingy.

4. Expect middle-of-the-night phone calls or texts. Because we've just come up with a pivotal plot idea and need someone to talk to about it.

5. We suffer from bi-polar self-esteem. If you can't come up with encouraging phrases when we're depressed or aren't ready to join our spur-of-the-moment jumping-up-and-down party when we're excited... Step aside.

6. You'll have to read. A lot.

7. And you'll mostly be reading our books for critiquing purposes. Even if you craft your criticism in the best way possible, we still might not talk to you for a few hours. Flowers and food will speed up this process.

8. Speaking of food, we need a steady supply while pounding out a story. Hope you like grocery store runs!

9. On a date, we might be staring at you intently as you speak, but we're not actually listening. We just came up with (and are thinking through) a new novel idea involving spaghetti, meatballs, and murder.

10. When our query letters go out, we will pay our email inbox much more attention than you. Sorry.