Thursday, October 22, 2015

5 Beauty Tips from a Writer

Writers are such beautifully mysterious creatures. With an idea in their head and a far-off look on their face, it's no surprise they turn heads as they walk down the street (and likely bump into someone, they're so busy imagining). 

Want to get that "writer" look coveted by fashion magazines and celebrities worldwide? Just follow these five steps:

1. Only get a few hours sleep--four at the most.
Doing this will get you those dark circles and wan look writers showcase. Those undereye bags are an outward sign of a night spent tossing and turning while new book ideas pranced around in your head.

2. Make sure you rest your chin on your palm for at least thirty minutes a day.
This process will guarantee a red mark on your face depicting time lost in thought while plotting. That red mark is the sign of work being done!

3. If you're going for an old-fashioned look, rubbing the sides of your fingers in ink is a must.
If you've seen Little Women you know what I mean. If not, go see it! I recommend watching around Christmas-time.

4. Type as much as you can, at least until one of your hands is sore and you constantly have to massage it.
One of the great experiences of writing--finger fatigue! By doing this exercise daily, you will join the elite ranks of writers who shake their hands and flirt with carpal tunnel.

5. Stare into space often--squinted eyes is a plus.
Pre-mature wrinkles? Who cares! With your eyes like this you'll get the air of mystery and aloofness that causes people to whisper things like, "Who is that?", "Does she have something in her eye?", "Wonder what she's thinking about?" 

And there you have it! The five steps to unlock the hard-won beauty that is a writer. Enjoy.

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