First is the Worst

Time for a confession, readers. My sweet, easy-going demeanor covers a dirty secret:

I'm slit-your-throat competitive. 

Except I don't go announcing it. Instead I keep it bottled up and hidden.

Until now.

Woops.

Believe it or not, the italicized confession above is 100% true. In fact, I had such a hard time reading when I was a kid because I wasn't perfect right away. Rather than painfully sound words out, I refused to read at all.

Obviously I've had some personality growth since my five-year-old days. Proof in the fact that I am typing this.

Even still, at 22 I hate to be anything other than first. I hate participating in anything where I might not be picked as Number One, The Lead, or win the Biggest Prize. You could say, rather than I'm overly competitive, that I have an ego/pride problem. I wouldn't correct you there.

This summer has been full of writing contests (contests which I've eagerly entered). And in none of them have I "won" the elusive (and mostly figurative) First Place.

My pride is rather irked at this. So much so that it brings to mind the elementary poem:

First is the worst.

Second is the best.

Third is the one with the treasure chest.

Though for third, with immature fifth graders, it was usually Third is the one with the hairy chest.

But I'm turning over a new leaf. Or at least attempting to. There's nothing wrong with being "unperfect," "last place," or "a greenie."

Wherever you are in the Scale of Life, embrace it. Each moment is fleeting. Be thankful for the opportunity and for the adventure.

I'm trying to be.

*Don't forget to enter my contest for a $15 Amazon gift card--only 18 DAYS left!

Don't Be My Critic

Whenever someone tries to give me advice or suggest a change, I pull a Sherlock.

After I'm finished being offended for a few hours, I reread the part they suggested a tweak and relent to their "rightness." My family knows I do this. In fact, Sunday my mom pointed it out to me while we were sitting on the couch going through my lesson plans for a missionary trip to Jamaica. She thought I should change a word. I thought I should keep it the same. "You're going to go back and change that later, aren't you?" she asked.

No comment.


It's safe to say I've got a pride problem, that's the only reason I'm so grumpy when people criticize me. It gets even worse when query writing approaches. I started that a week ago and my sister's response was, "Oh no! You're going to be so mean!" Yikes.

My inability to take criticism well is a flaw I need to work on. How? Other than forcing myself to swallow criticism with a smile and digest it later, I can't think of much else. Wish me luck! I'll be getting edits back on THESE WICKED WATERS soon. Then I'll be editing my query letter.

Not sure which is worse.